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柴玲:“我原谅他们”(全文)

虽然天安门运动被给予了很多名称和目的, 但是做为当时学生方面的总指挥, 我可以说, 我们要结束的, 就是这种灭绝人性的文化和气氛, 而创建一个充满爱, 和平和富足的社会。所以1989年的6月4日是一个痛苦的日子,当我们亲眼目睹了这个梦想被坦克碾死。我们为失去的兄弟姐妹的痛苦中, 也在为这个没能实现的社会而难过。很长一段时间,每当我想起当年的领导人选择这条毁灭和强暴的选择时,我的心总是会跟痛苦和愤怒作战。

两年半前,我认识了耶稣。他对妇女,儿童,穷人和被压迫者的热爱,是跟主流文化和传统相反的,基督叫我们跟随他的门徒也做同样的事。

他还原谅了那些嘲笑他的,并冷血地把他钉到十字架上的人:“父啊,赦免他们,因为他们不知道他们做什么。”这是他临终的话。(路加福音23:34)

又一次,他叫我也做同样的事。

这是我为什么选择原谅他们的原因。我原谅邓小平和李鹏。我原谅士兵们冲进1989年天安门广场。我原谅目前中国的领导下,继续压制自由和实行残酷的独生子女政策。

我以耶稣万胜的名祈祷,恩典和宽恕的文化会在中国升起,让所有的人都得尊严和人性。我以耶稣万胜的名祈祷神会改变中国目前领导人的心, 让他们也会遵循耶稣的教诲和行为,施怜悯, 求公义,。我以耶稣万胜的名祈祷,那些受压迫和不公正的会早日得到完全的自由,而且,他们不会寻求报复,像大卫王的将领杀害押沙龙那样,而是有勇气来宽恕的。宽恕不是接受他们的不公正,而是把最终审判的权利交回给万能,万胜,和完全公义的神。

我明白这种宽恕是反主流文化和感情的。我也听说前几年极位信基督的天安门同事的兄长的宽恕被误会。然而,在这天安门23周年的纪念日,我还是要选择宽恕。因为我知道,当我们的心里充满了和平与宽恕时,我们是在一个很小的程度上反应出耶稣对整个人类的巨大宽恕。我也知道,当我们在天安门前面对坦克机枪而决定不放弃和平理性非暴力的时候, 我们早已经选择了宽恕!我更知道,只有当我们真正宽恕时,持久的和平才会到来。

"I Forgive Them."
Chai Ling on the 23rd Anniversary of 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.

June 4th, 2012

Two decades ago, the Chinese government's crackdown in Tiananmen Square left hundreds of my fellow students dead.  Since then a new generation has grown up in China, and most of them are in the dark about what happened on this very day in China's history.

But to me it seems like just yesterday. I began that day with great hope and anticipation for a new China, but it ended as a day of unspeakable sorrow.

Twenty-three years have passed. Many things have changed: people grew older, and some key Communist Party leaders from 1989 have passed away. But many—whether they say this openly or not—know that this chapter of China's history has not closed yet. 

How will this chapter be written? How will the story end? The world still watches China with interest, as the recent cases of Chen Guangcheng and Bo Xilai proved.

For the past 23 years, I too, have tried to understand the meaning of Tiananmen. I vividly recall that last hour: standing at Tiananmen Square, watching in disbelief as a disaster unfolded around us.

As I was writing A Heart for Freedom, I finally understood. There could only be two futures for China: an outcome of continued fear, or a destiny that opens the door to true freedom—and forgiveness.

In the Hebrew scriptures, King David's son Absalom rebelled and took the throne from his own father by force. Even in the face of this betrayal, David forgave his son. He told his generals that they should show mercy if they overcame the rebel army and captured the wayward son: "For my sake, deal gently with young Absalom." But when Absalom was found, alone and vulnerable, the generals chose to ignore David and kill Absalom—thus continuing the pattern of violence.

I know that those responsible for oppression in China will also find themselves vulnerable one day, just like Absalom did. And so the question stands:  When that day comes, will China continue with a pattern of harsh retribution, or a will it begin a path of grace, mercy and compassion?

You may wonder how China's seemingly immovable leadership will ever be vulnerable. The answer is: it has always been vulnerable, and it is more vulnerable now than ever before.

There is little true security in China, even for leaders. Power, money and military or police forces can give a few people temporary wealth and stability, but these things cannot provide lasting security.

In 1989, the number-two-leader Zhao Ziyang lost all his power and freedom for disagreeing with Deng Xiaoping's decision to use force against students at Tiananmen. So did the strong hardliner, former Beijing mayor Chen Xitong, who was sentenced to 16 years in jail. And now Bo Xilai has fallen from grace. These leaders may have looked invincible from the outside, but they lost everything. As Chen Xitong confessed recently, "In all those high level political battles, each side is trying to outdo the other side by being more cunning, more malicious, and more brutal."

The system in China suppresses humanity and compassion. It imprisoned and persecuted Chen Guangcheng, a blind attorney, for advocating on behalf of 130,000 women who underwent forced abortions and forced sterilizations. The climate of fear and self-preservation can affect all levels of society, as demonstrated last fall when over a dozen people walked right past a dying toddler after she was run over by a van in a street.

This is the atmosphere that we students wanted to see change at Tiananmen. It is painful for me to remember what happened on that June 4th, 1989, when I witnessed the death of a dream. I still mourn for what "could have been." And for a long time, I battled bitterness and anger whenever I thought of the leaders who chose to take a path of destruction that day.

But then I was confronted with the example of Jesus. He loved women, children, the poor and the oppressed in a way that was radically countercultural—and he called me to do the same.

He also forgave the very people who ridiculed him and nailed him to a cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 24:34)

And again, he called me to do the same.

I forgive them. I forgive Deng Xiaoping and Li Peng. I forgive the soldiers who stormed Tiananmen Square in 1989. I forgive the current leadership of China, who continue to suppress freedom and enforce the brutal One Child Policy.

I pray that a culture of grace will arise in China, giving all people dignity and humanity. I pray that the China's current leaders will follow Jesus and act with mercy and compassion. I pray that those who have suffered under oppression will not seek vengeance—like King David's soldiers did when they killed Absalom—but have the courage to forgive. Forgiveness does not justify wrong, but rather yields the power of judgment to God.

I understand such forgiveness is countercultural. Yet it is only a small reflection of the forgiveness that Jesus gave, and I was filled with peace when I followed him in forgiving. When forgiveness arises, a lasting peace can finally reign.


 



(孙澜 编辑)
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